Skillr Profile: Ashley Pariseau
Ashley Pariseau is a love and dating coach on the SKILLR App. She sat down with us to dish on all things dating and what she discusses on a typical Skillr call.
Alexa Goins: Okay. So we can get started. Could you tell me your name, your pronouns, and what you do on SKILLR?
Ashley Pariseau: My name is Ash Pariseau or Ashley Pariseau. My pronouns are her/she, and I'm a dating and relationship coach.
Alexa Goins: Awesome. I'd love to hear about how you got into the field of dating and relationship coaching.
Ashley Pariseau: Yeah, I started writing it with a focus on dating and relationships years ago. In my early twenties just kind of experiencing all the highs and the lows of navigating the dating scene myself. And so I just started blogging just for personal growth. I think I had maybe just a couple of followers and just started writing for my own hobby on my own pastime. And through the years I just kind of stuck with it. I started submitting work on different publications and magazines and online publications. And through there I gained a little bit of an audience and people would reach out to me for advice and I would always help them out to the best of my ability. But at some point, I felt like I could make even more of an impact if I was actually coaching. So I decided to enroll in a professional coach training program and I went to the Academy of Creative Coaching and I earned my certification in relationship coaching.
Alexa Goins: Last October. Wow. That's great. What does a typical day look like for you?
Ashley Pariseau: For me, what I've been doing recently is I usually get up and I tend to any type of emails that I have to do, like business transactions, any emails that I have to write out. If I have any articles that I'm working on, I will work on those. And then if I have any coaching calls that I'm doing, I kind of set those and take a moment to really get into my coaching space and schedule those. And then I would say about halfway through the day, me and my man, we kind of take a break and do lunch/dinner. And then after that, I'll get a couple of more hours of work in before the evening.
Alexa Goins: What do you normally discuss on... Well, I should ask, have you gotten a chance to do any Skillr calls yet?
Ashley Pariseau: Yeah, I've actually done a couple. Yeah.
Alexa Goins: Okay. What do you normally discuss on a typical client call?
Ashley Pariseau: There's a wide range of things that you can talk about and discuss in relationship coaching. A lot of it has to do with communication, figuring out, and just navigating a new relationship. There are a lot of questions regarding mixed signals and how to determine whether or not someone's really into you. I would say a lot of mindset work as well.
Helping people through a scarcity mindset is definitely one confidence and building attraction. And I would say also navigating through conflicts as well.
Alexa Goins: That's really interesting to me because I feel like all of those skills go even beyond dating. They're just skills you need to be a functioning human and yeah. Communication, conflict resolution are all great skills that you're teaching clients that they can take into other areas of their life. So that I imagine must be really rewarding work.
Ashley Pariseau: Yes. It's so much fun.
Alexa Goins: So on SKILLR since we're all about learning and growing and just taking small steps to gain new knowledge and skills, what's one thing that you're learning about or interested in learning more about right now?
Ashley Pariseau: I would say more recently and I can't even believe I'm saying this, but I'm trying to learn a little bit more about cooking and it's so funny to say this because I really to tell you the truth I don't like to cook. So I'm the type of person that in our twenties we ate like a bunch of college kids. And as you get older those eating habits start to catch up to you at some point. So I think here lately, we're trying to really collaborate and think about what sort of easy, quick meals that we can make at home that are also healthy. So I'll probably be reaching out to one of our SKILLR nutritionists or chefs here soon to get some help with that.
Alexa Goins: Yeah. I am with you there. That's something that I am wanting to do soon as well. What would you say are some challenges that your clients run into?
Ashley Pariseau: Okay. So when you ask that, do you mean through the coaching work or just in their dating and relationship issues?
Alexa Goins: You could take it either way.
Ashley Pariseau: Okay. Well through the coaching work definitely like I said, mindset, confidence, self-esteem issues come up a lot. I would say that there are people that are ready for coaching and then there are people that aren't and that's okay, everybody's on their own journey. So through the coaching work, at least with me, there are some people that aren't really ready to do the work necessary to get them the results that they want. So that's something that comes up a lot too.
Alexa Goins: What would you say to people who are wanting to learn more about how to date well, but are maybe nervous or confused about where to get started and who haven't really done coaching before?
Ashley Pariseau: Yeah. Learning to date well. I would say fundamentally that equipping yourself with knowledge is huge when you're starting to date. Really unpacking a lot of the dynamics that go on in dating in relationships in shameless blog time. I actually have a blog that I write weekly. Well, semi-weekly, I'm kind of working on my content schedule there, but it's damesthatknow.com and I write content on dating and relationship advice, like all the how-to's and the red flags and the things like that. So if you need a specific point to reference, I would say start there and if you have any questions I'm available to help you out and support you through that, if you just have a quick question, shoot me a DM or email. And if you want coaching around that, we can definitely set up something for coaching as well.
Alexa Goins: Awesome. I have a question that's not on the list that I just thought of but I'm curious. I love watching dating shows. Is that something that you do as a dating coach? And if so, what's your favorite dating show to watch?
Ashley Pariseau: Oh goodness. Lately, I haven't been watching “Love is Blind.” I've been thinking about it so that might be something that I'm going to check out soon. But if there're any shows that I'm watching that are dating and relationship-related, I would say I'm really into the show “You” on Netflix.
Alexa Goins: Okay.
Ashley Pariseau: I don't know if you know anything about it.
Alexa Goins: Yeah. I wasn't expecting that one. Yeah.
Ashley Pariseau: Yeah. I don't know. That's the best example to use here because it's a little dark and twisted, right?
Alexa Goins: I mean, I guess that's what makes it interesting, like the psychology of it.
Ashley Pariseau: Yes, definitely. Which I also find interesting as well, but that's the show that I'm watching right now. So maybe I need to check out some of the Love is Blind and I know that's a hot show right now.
Alexa Goins: Yeah. That one is pretty good. I am actually going to have to get more into You. I watched I think the first episode and got kind of scared, but I'm like-
Ashley Pariseau: Yeah. Have you seen the Tinder Swindler?
Alexa Goins: Yes.
Ashley Pariseau: Oh my gosh.
Alexa Goins: That was wild. Yeah. I'm sure that was interesting to watch as someone in your profession too.
Ashley Pariseau: Yeah. I have thoughts. I might jump on an Instagram live one of these days and discuss it.
Alexa Goins: Well, please do. I will be watching that. So we're going to do one more question and then if there's anything else you want to share, but could you complete the phrase when I'm not working as a relationship and dating coach I'm...
Ashley Pariseau: Looking for new shows to stream.
Alexa Goins: Aren't we all?
Ashley Pariseau: Yeah. So me and my guy have shows that we watch together when we're eating dinner. We just finished a show called “The Righteous Gemstones,” or at least we're caught up on it. That's on HBO Max. That's really interesting. Other than that, I like to get in a good nap.
Alexa Goins: Same. And is there anything else that you want to share with people about you? About booking a call with you or dating and relationship coaching?
Ashley Pariseau: Well, if there's anything I would say to people interested in coaching with me, I am here to support you, but if you're going to coach with me, be ready to show up for yourself and be ready to do the work. And I've realized that progress is made through uncomfortable moments. And coaching isn't always comfortable. It's not therapy because you show up in a different way. You are action-oriented and I like to help people make progress and get results. So if that's something that you're not ready for, that's totally fine. If that's something that you are ready for, we can make an arrangement and we can coach and talk about things and be ready to get you some results and improve your life and improve your relationships in your love life because that's what I want to help people do.
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