Expert Tips for Dealing with a Breakup on Valentine's Day
No matter how you slice it, breakups suck. When Valentine’s Day rolls around, the suckiness can feel unbearable. But, it doesn’t have to! Skillr and dating coach Ashley Pariseau is sharing her top tips for dealing with a breakup during the day of love.
Feel your feels
For Ashley, exploring our feelings can help us move through them. Instead of trying to numb out, embrace the anger, sadness or whatever emotions arise in your body. You can even talk through your feelings with a dating coach on SKILLR.
“Going through a breakup is hard enough any time of the year,” Ashley said. “But I get it, it can be especially lousy when it happens close to Valentine's Day, a day you were expecting to celebrate your love. It's perfectly ok to feel your feelings and be in that moment if that's what you need to do in order to heal. Just don't stay there.”
Find new ways to celebrate
Valentine’s Day doesn’t just have to be about romantic love. You can use the day to find gratitude for all of the different forms of love in your life and create new traditions and ways of celebrating that don’t involve daydreaming about your ex.
“If you're up for it, I encourage you to consider what different things Valentine's Day can mean to you,” Ashley said. “One option, claim it ‘Galentine's Day’ where you choose a bestie or two, it could even be a sister, and take the opportunity to treat them instead.”
Ashley also encourages people to get together with friends and do activities they might not have been able to do as much when they were in a relationship.
“Surprise your girlfriends with flowers and chocolate,” she said. “Invite them over to your house, watch ‘Bride Wars’ and cuddle up with each other. Who decided that romantic love was the only love to celebrate for Valentine's Day? And when your girlfriends pull up for you, isn't that one of the best feelings in the world?”
You can also get help cooking up a celebratory meal for you and your crew on the SKILLR App.
Treat it like your birthday
“If all else fails, pretend it's your birthday,” Ashley explained. “It's typically understood that your birthday is a day where you can indulge yourself in whatever pleases you and no one can shame you or judge you for it. Take this day to do whatever you want.”
For those in need of some ideas of where to start, Ashley shared some of her suggestions.
“‘Treat yo self!’ Sleep in, order yourself a cake, shop for a new outfit, book an appointment for a massage, watch all those stupid movies that you secretly love that no one else you know does,” she said.
Ultimately, you should use the day to do what makes you feel good. It’s time to put your love and focus back where it belongs: on you.
“Feel free to use this day just...for...you, focusing on whatever makes you happy,” Ashley said. “When you do this, you'll realize that sometimes pleasing yourself can be so much better than when you were expecting someone else to.”
Match with Ashley (@ashpariseau) on the SKILLR App for 1:1, personalized relationship and breakup coaching. You can also follow along with her work on Instagram.
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